Go or stay?

It's being a long time since I post, things is a bit busy this side with the school holidays and the kids being so busy.  It feels like I lost myself for a week or two, DD goes on, abit diffirent with the kids awake till late but still going on.

The thing is I'm actually so grumpy lately, I really feel lonely like things are falling apart, but the truth is everyting is still the same.  Maby it is hormones or something, it's sometimes so hard being a women, we have many choices to make and most of the times I'm so afraid of making the wrong choices for us.

I need to go for a hystorectomy, and really it is fine with me, it's actually what I wanted for a long time, but now that the time arrived, I feel so scared all of sudden.  I really hate this part it feels like I'm falling apart.  Maby writing about it will give me some sence, about this.  Could it be that I feel this way because of all the nasty stories you heard of women feel less like a women, husbands suddenly wants a divorce after sugery.  The long recovery six weeks, maby longer. On a lighter note.


The good news is, I find all of my school friends and some of them is going to visit me on Sunday, it's being twelve years since we last see each other.  We've being terrible in school, always in hot water and I can't wait to bring times back, now with our families, being all grownup and responsible of our own children.  And the last thing I want for this weekend is DD, I want to be my old self with my friends, and not to watch over my shoulder the hole time, to see if hubby is giving me the look.  Maby I must just talk to him about this, lucky for me he is the most understanding person I know.