END OF THE YEAR

DD seems to bloom in the end of each year, do you think women tend to be more of a handful this time of the year, or shall we blame the men for catching a wake up call every end of the year.

Whatever it may be, the truth is DD comes to live in every December, especially for me, I seems to be in more trouble every end of the year.

On a lighter note I really don't mind trouble it keeps me more relax, and what do they say attention is attention good or bad.  Ha ha no really a spanking on it's time is good by the way we are all spankos so why be in such a relationship and hate spankings. No it won't make sense for me.

If just finish reading fifty shades of Grey, yeah it was good but really I expected a bit more, yes  I know all of us would want that women to be on the receiving end of allot more spankings.  Can you believe her unsubmissiveness can we get away with that, I bet allot of women did try once reading the books.  You know what is more scary?  If your mother in law wants to borrow your books.

IT IS HARD SOMETIMES

Why is it so hard for women to be submissive to the HOH? 

I've been thinking about this allot over the last weeks, we want the control from HOH but when they start to take it we do not want to comply.  This is a brainstorm for me, and I really do not have the answers for this one.  Why is this so difficult for most women, well for me this is extremely hard, I want my husband to be dominant and stern, but it seems only when I want him to be.  There are times I wish he will just back off and leave me alone, so that I can do as I wish, even if it bothers him.

Now this is a problem in any DD household, you can't give something and the next day you want it back, because when they start to get comfortable in their role, they wont let you take it back.  We want them to hold us acountable for our actions, 'but not always' and when they do on times we do not want it ,we think of them as unfair.

That's when the argument starts with ' so you think you are mr. perfect, who punishes you when you are at fault, huh?'  What can I do to punish you?  Ahhh, maby I can withhold sex from you, when I think you were wrong.  This sound so good to many womens ears, well to mine it sounds perfect, but the problem with this is, it is wrong, so wrong.  They are stronger than us, they can take what they want anytime, this won't work.  So what now, they aren't perfect and right all the time, and we do not want to be the only ones who get punished for wrong doings, that's not fair at all.

So where to now, accept your fate as a women, or fight?  I still don't have the right answer but for now I will make the choice to give him a chance in his leadership even if I see this as unfair sometimes.

DIDN'T LAST LONG

Three spankings in one night, well that didn't go to well for my intentions to stay out of trouble.  It happen just as he arrived home, he said he didn't like my new attitude and I earned my first spanking for the night.  He gave me a hand spanking and that just upset me, I didn't want a spanking, so my attitude just  get worst, then he decided to take the riding corp, and cane, well that seemed to work just fine.  Tears was forming in my eyes, and I felt more submissive after that, but that's when I decided it's time for us to talk.

We had a long and intensive talk about our feelings, and it did us both good, it was good for me to hear him out, and he needed to listen to me as well.  Sometimes we bottle up our feelings for to long, and only think of ourselves, that's when problems start to develop in relationships, and it ruins trust.  We didn't do any DD stuff when we were on holiday, and I've learnt a lesson out of it, you can't put DD off and on as you wishes, then it would never work.  So I told him I didn't feel any submission towards him at the moment, and that stresses me out, and he told me his biggest fear is loosing me and the children, loosing his leadership over us.

And that is how the third spanking took place in our home, a 'reminder spanking' of our roles and responsibility towards each other, everything seems well again and so we learn on our journey together every day.  Nobody is perfect, but for us, we can worked together to build something special and perfect for us.

CRIED FROM A HAND SPANKING - OH MY

It's been awhile since I last post something, but I was on holiday to take a break.  My emotions was on a high before we left, and hubby desided to do maintenace before we went on holiday, hear this nobody would believe me if I tell them. A hand spanking this what honey gave me, and I cried for the first time from just a hand spanking, I cried myself to sleep that night.  I still can't believe it myself, yeah well, I do cry easy from punishment, but never from a handspanking.  It must have been my emotions playing around with me, I just had to do a post on it.

Well we had a nice time at the south coast, and now it is back to normal for us, the only thing is a hole week without spanking sets me in the wrong mindset, now I realy do not want any spankings at all.  And I do not want to be submissive,  maby I'm still on holiday mode, we will see for how long can I stay out of trouble, and maintenace I hope.

Have you made the right choice about your relationship?

What kind of relationship do you wish for?



1.  Domestic discipline - stirckly with no turns to bdsm activities

2.  Master slave relationship

3.  Dominant and submissive relationship

4.  Daddy and little one

5.  Or would you prefer a little of all the above?



When we first start out with any spanking relationship, it was because we saw someting or read something that trigger this thought, yes many of us wanted this for years because we are just spankos.  Have you ever wish that you did more thinking on what exactly you wanted form the start, maby the 'mater slave relationship' really turns you on, but when you play it for a while you realise that it isn't so much fun at all. 

The main thing is in all of the above relationships their must be a dominant partner and a submissive partner, the only diffirence is the amount of dominace and submission.  I would really like to see how other people feel and think about this, please feel free to reply and tell me if you made a mistake in your choice of relationship, and how did you fix it to work out for both you and your partner.

AFTERCARE

Aftercare is a topic I wanted to write about for a long time now, many people handle this differently, and many don't even do it.

First of all I'm speaking to the HOH when you plan on spanking your spouse, think a litlle further than just the spanking.  You are spanking the women you love and protect, so yes spanking can change behaviour and that's why you both agreed on spanking as method to make changes.  The truth is spanking is use as discipline or punishment, and after the spanking is over their needs to be aftercare.

Many HOH neglecte that thought entirly, because that maby didn't even occured to them to use aftercare.  For myself  this may be the biggest factor in any DD or spanking relationship.  Without aftercare the women may start to loose trust in her HOH because she may feel like he is abusing her, or that he didn't care enough about her.  Spanking is the punishment like I said, but afterward there must be love, and lots of it, you do not want your partner to loose trust in your abillity of HOH.  Yes and to be the disciplinarian cames with a big responsibility, you must always keep your spankees emotions in mind aswell as her wellbeing.

So if you spank for dicsipline or punishment, always keep some oil or ointment nearby, because the spankee will hurt badly after the spanking, if you deside on conertime after the spanking use it, you can rub the buttocks later on with oil.  Always let your women know that after the punishment she is forgiven and that you will help her to take care of her punished behind, she will gain alot of respect for you when you take care of her.  But do not stop the aftercare after that, make her feel secure in the next few days aswell, you can rub arnica on her every night, and see the healing proses for yourself, you can even take that time and talk to your spouse on why she is in this current position and what is she going to do to aviod it in the future.

Do not make fun of her, she was brave enough to take a severe spanking she really do not need any sarcasm from your part, be sensitive to her emotions.  Emotions can run high for a day or two after a punishment, and if the HOH aren't sensitive to his spouse a problem can occure in the future.  If you tressure your relationship, then I suggest you start using the proper aftercare, and stop sarcastic remarks after punishment.

TRUE Q and A FROM HOH

SPANKEE MUST BARE THEMSELF OR THE SPANKER?

It depends on how I feel, if I tell you to do it yourself then you better, but really this isn't so big issue for me.



PANTY OR G-STRING?

G-string



THE WOMEN MUST GET THE SPANKING TOOLS OR THE HOH?

Hoh



WHY?

It's about power and a surprise for the spankee.



DO YOU HAVE PUNISHMENT TOOLS, AND OTHER FOR JUST BECAUSE? OR CAN YOU USE ANY TOOL FOR PUNISHMENT ASWELL?

No, it depends on how you use the implements, even the hand can be use for punishment, and a paddle for maintenace.



STRAP OR HAIRBRUSH?

Depends on how I feel, the strap if I don't want to bruise to much.



BIKINI OR DRESS?

Dress



WHAT DO YOU PERFER TO LET YOUR SPANKEE WAIT FOR A SPANKING FOR DAYS OR TO STEP UP AND SPANK RIGHT AWAY?

For maintenace I like to let her know before hand, but discipline and punishment I will do it right away.



WHAT POSITION DO YOU LIKE?

Depends on my mood.



DO YOU LIKE YOUR SPANKEE TO THANK YOU FOR SPANKING HER, OR DOESN'T IT MATTERS TO YOU?  AND IF YOU PREFER IT HOW DO YOU LIKE HER TO THANK YOU?

Physical like oral sex it makes the women even more submissive.



HOW DO YOU FEEL WHEN SPANKING YOUR WIFE, DO YOU FEEL DOMINANT OR QUILTY?

Dominant, but you still feel quilty and bad because you are the one who is hurting her.



DO YOU TAKE THE WOMEN OR BOTTOM TO THE PLACE WHERE SHE WILL BE SPANKED OR MUST SHE GO ON HER OWN AND WAIT?

She must go on her own and wait, it gives her time to think.



HOW LONG IS THE PERFECT TIME FOR HER TO WAIT, AND MUST SHE WAIT IN A POSISION OR NOT?

Five minutes I believe is long enough and in a bending position or on her knees.



LECTURE DURING, AFTER OR BEFORE SPANKING?

During



MUST THE SPANKEE CALL YOU SIR OR ANYTHING DURING THE DISCIPLINE PROSES, OR CAN SHE BE HER CHEECKY SELF?

The more cheecky the longer and harder the spanking will be.



LONG SPANKINGS OR SHORT SPANKINGS?

It depends on what I want.



WOMEN MUST ASK PERMISION FOR THE THINGS SHE WANT OR WANT TO DO, OR MAKE HER OWN CHOICES AND LIVE WITH THE OUTCAME OF HER DISSISIONS?

Live with her choices and maby a good spanking.




Come and join in the fun see if you can get Hoh, top or husband to answer these quistions.

PLEASE SIR.....................

When I'm down I want you to spank me.
When I'm happy I want a playfull spanking.
When live is getting to busy I need a spanking.
When I need someone to talk to, it can happen over a spanking.
When a girl need some  comfort a pair of hands can help.

What I'm trying to say is, anytime is just a perfect time for a spanking, we tend to look for excuses to spank and sometimes it is such a burden to look for excuses.  Do not look for a reason to spank, just spank because it does both of you good.  It makes a women feel better and more in control of her emotions, and for a man it helps relieve stress.  It is good for your sexlife and it help couples to trust one another. 

Why wait for a reason to spank, just do it and enjoy it, it is part of who you are and what you enjoy.  It was your choice to live in such a relationship, now go 100% or leave it.  Do not expect obidience all the time, and do not expect good behaviour all the time, women need to be out of control sometime and even if we complain while spanked, we really enjoy the fact that you can take control of any situation, any time any day, even without a good reason.

To share or not to share?

Have you ever talk to somebody over your relationship?  Why do people wants to know what is your secret for such a wonderful marraige, and the moment you tell them they turn their heads and you became the joke.  My question is; is it really worth it to share your secrets?  The bottom line is many couples can listen to your story for hours but the truth is they just won't go that extra mile for their marraige.

I've seen it many times, they always seem so blown away when they hear your story, but in the real world, they laugh after your back.  People can confuse you, and make you feel unsure of yourself and your marraige.

Is it really nessasary to share your marraige to close friends?  No best will be to just focus on your family and just turn your head when you see how other people live their lives.  Keep what you and your husband have intimate and sexy, because nobody can trade places with you, it is in your hands to make it work for yourself.  Do not meassure your standards according to other people, do what makes you happy, and the hell with the rest.

EMOTIONS BEFORE A REAL PUNISHMENT

Emotions before a real punishment spanking, their is so many emotions going through a women, and then she realize just how complicated such a relationship is.  Many women would say yes for a spanking, but when you've been in such a relationship and you know what a real punishment spanking feels like, the tables are turning.  There is no fun in a punishment, and thats when the women starts to think;

Why did I ever give my consent for such a relationship?
I don't think I want this anymore
He is not an angel, what if he messes up?
Who give him the right to do this - yeah you did
This is really going to hurt
What implement is he going to use
Why am I so stupid
Maby I should start crying now, before the punishment - will it soften him?
I can run, must I, will it be the smartest thing to do?
Hide all the worst implements
Lock the bedroom door
Yeah we could talk this one out
I do not want this punishment
I can play him emotionaly
Will he give me a proper warm up?
I hate this man, really who gives him the right to do this?
Yes I know I've mentioned that one already
I'm starting to feel sick now
Will he stop on time
Are you sure someone can't die from a spanking?
Why can't he just forgive me, and leave punishment?

And the list can go on forever, depends on how long you have to prepare for your punishment, and the worst part is, maby you were the one who introduce him to the idea of domestic discipline.  Then the door opens, and it is time to face the music, and all the fun and sexy stuff you've heard of such a relationship dissapear into thin air.  But somewhere inside of you, you know that after punishment you and the big bear will be more than ok, and you will love him more than ever.

There are many emotions and after all these years, I believe there cames a time in every domestic discipline relationship, that you wish you could just walk out and pretend you never started it at once.  Discipline and punishment is not fun and hurts like the dickens, yes the lovemaking can make up for the discomfort but remember not all couples do the same thing.  It took me a few years to came to that point, we do not do DD or taken in hand or any other form of lifestyle we just do what works for us.

CRYING

Reading most of the blogs, and very good blogs to add, I dicided to write out of a womens point a view from now on.  I want to write over problems and solutions, no more personal stuff about myself, and my family.  I will try to be helpful for beginners taking a subject and just give my two cents over it.

CRYING

Crying is the most natural way for a women to express her feelings at any situation, most women want to cry during or after a spanking because it is a part of womenhood.  Crying for some women came very easy, the worst part in the beginning of DD is when the women can't cry, for the dominant it is most important to understand the women needs before starting such a relationship.

Most cupples just start with DD before knowing each others real needs, yes it can be exciting to put a women over your knee and blister her behind, but pause just there.  You need to talk about this, what is it you both want out of this experience.  How important is crying to her, what do the HOH wants for himself. 

Give her time to think about what is going to happen, lecturing help in preparing her emotionaly, do not play around and handle the situation like a game, be real from the start.  Take time on the whole spanking, talk her through, crying doesn't came from pain, it cames from her emotional side.  Get her in the perfect mindset before starting the spanking, let her talk to you give her side of the story, let her explain her situation to you.

Then tell her that the spanking is going to hurt, and that it is ok for her to cry, you will be there for her but  you both need this for  your relationship to grow into something special.  Once a women can see that this is not a game to you, and  you are serious about DD she will also became more serious herself.  Tell her to let go, and be free even if you are the one who is hurting her now, tell her that she is still the one you love most.

Crying should be easy now, but one warning, hold her afterwards but please do not tell her she is your goodgirl, because if she was she wouldn't be crying now with a red bottom.  Sometimes just to be there is enough, hold your words for later, other times when she is crying and it's not just a tear or two leave her in her bedroom alone, tell her when she is ready you will be waiting for her in the livingroom.

Women can be very sensitive when they want to cry, but feel to ashame to because the HOH is still in the room.  Afterall she is not a little girl anymore, shame can be a reason why the tears and release won't come.

Go or stay?

It's being a long time since I post, things is a bit busy this side with the school holidays and the kids being so busy.  It feels like I lost myself for a week or two, DD goes on, abit diffirent with the kids awake till late but still going on.

The thing is I'm actually so grumpy lately, I really feel lonely like things are falling apart, but the truth is everyting is still the same.  Maby it is hormones or something, it's sometimes so hard being a women, we have many choices to make and most of the times I'm so afraid of making the wrong choices for us.

I need to go for a hystorectomy, and really it is fine with me, it's actually what I wanted for a long time, but now that the time arrived, I feel so scared all of sudden.  I really hate this part it feels like I'm falling apart.  Maby writing about it will give me some sence, about this.  Could it be that I feel this way because of all the nasty stories you heard of women feel less like a women, husbands suddenly wants a divorce after sugery.  The long recovery six weeks, maby longer. On a lighter note.


The good news is, I find all of my school friends and some of them is going to visit me on Sunday, it's being twelve years since we last see each other.  We've being terrible in school, always in hot water and I can't wait to bring times back, now with our families, being all grownup and responsible of our own children.  And the last thing I want for this weekend is DD, I want to be my old self with my friends, and not to watch over my shoulder the hole time, to see if hubby is giving me the look.  Maby I must just talk to him about this, lucky for me he is the most understanding person I know.

WINTER SPANKINGS

What's the worst time for a spanking?  Definitely in the middle of the winter, especially in South Africa it's really cold here.  It's in times like this that you really wish you didn't have a domestic discipline relationship.  It's easy to say but you can behave the you won't get spanked, but remember maintenace, it is weekly and in the night when the kids go to bed.

Anyway this is just how things work, nobody is suppose to like a spanking but the truth is alot women do so if it is on a wet bum, or in the middle of winter enjoy it. 

Friday spanking

Friday was a bad day for me, I've hurt my hubby in a bad way and the worst part is I don't even remember it.  No not because I didn't want to, but maby I've had a little to much wine in my system.

Anyway it turned out that he was mad, hurt and I felt bad about it.  It doesn't happen to often the bad feeling thing, but Friday it did happen.  The worst part was I knew that he was going to spank me about this, but I didn't want to wait for the spanking, so I had to asked him to spank me for my bad attitude.

And he did when he came home, not the usual ' hallo honey how was your day' conversation, no I was to wait in the spanking position so that we could spank and move on.  He started with his hand, not the nice, long slow warmup like he use to do, no hard slaps from the start.  It was difficult to hold position, but I knew this would get far more worst.  Then he took out the plastic cane, boy was I one sorry little girl after that spanking, the tears were flowing but I wasn't histerical like I use to be after being caned, no this was different I knew I really needed the spanking.

And what would happen after the spanking, we went for a three our drive on my very sore bottom.

KINKY OR DEGRADING?

Have you ever wondered why people in bdsm play, believe in degrading their submissives?  This is weird for me, because even though I like to read some of the stories, there is always something bothering me about a 24/7 lifestyle like that.  I don't believe it is the atual act in the playsession I think it is the way they name their submissives.

Personly I would hate it if someone call me a whore or a slut all the time.  This is bad because they want the women to be like a slut to them, but calling them pet or slut all the time is so degrading.  The women who wants to be submissive want a dominant who can control them in many ways, even humiliate them when they need it, but never in my life have I heard of a submissive who wants to be degraded by any name calling.  Realy I don't like the roleplay thing like 'daddy and little girl' but even that is better than pet or whore.

Just a random thought from me, maby someone would like to tell me more about this kind of lifestyle so that I can see what is the missing link from my side.  I don't mean to offend anyone living this way, the thing is I realy don't understand it.  Yes I can see why the sub calls the dom 'sir' or 'master' because it make him feel more powerful and dominant, but can't they rather call their subs 'missy' or something more respectful.

Please tell me how you feel about this topic, what is your two cents about this.

WHAT WOMEN WANT

Women want dominant husbands, who can control them, punish them when needed, but above all love them like there is no tomorrow.  Why would we want to be controlled and punished, because it make us feel special and worthy of your love.  Yes all men out there, please take this seriously, we will not hate you for keeping us in line, we will love you more, respect you more, tressure every moment with you.  Most men is so afraid to step up, and give their women what they need,  affraid of hurting them, losing them, afraid of what other people may think about them for living this way.  But reallity is, we need you to be stronger than your fears, we need to rely on you for surporting us, caring for us, even to discipline us.  Yes alot of women will threaten you when you do spank them, but truly I do not think she would go through with her thread, if you show her that she needed it, and that she is still the most important person in your life.

Have you ever thought why women read romance books, and why they like to watch romance movies, because they see real men in it, dominant men that can be hard, but their love is so much stronger for their women.  The most common complain in every marriadge is lack of consistency from men.  You could ask yourself, but why would I have to punish a grownup women, she is supose to know what is right and wrong, yes and she does.  The problem is we do not know how far are we allowed to push, we want to see the dominant men inside of you, we want to know how much is enough.  We do not want to be abbused, we want for you to lead us with loving correction, not with hate.  Most of the women feels the same way, we are in need for a strong leader but we can not give up control, if we can't see that quality inside of you.

We do not what to be degraded, or to be someones slave, all we really want is a stern loving husband, that knows what he expect of his wife, and know how to get it.  Do we want to be punished, well sometimes we do, not because it is fun, but we have a innerneed for correction, and the way we feel afterward.  We struggle to give over control, we want to feel the submissive women inside of us, and the only way we can get to that stage is when our men became dominant, and stronger than us.

But what if she cries?  What if I really hurt her?
We  have to cry, it's a women's thing to do, we want to cry, do not worry about it.  If we cry we go to another mindset, a better one.  We can talk alot about crying, but for now, just remember that we are emotional beings.  Yes a spanking do hurt, she can bruise aswell, but afterall it will heal pretty fast, and before you know it she will be upon your knee again.  Why?  Simple she loves to feel your control, and the love signals you send out to her by adminnistering a good spanking.

Let go of your fear, and women can let go of their control.

Implements to get your attension

Last night we had maintenace, and let me tell you it wasn't just normal maintenace it was difficult for me.  I was so glad when it whas over, have you ever felt a wooden brush, with a wooden paddle.  Look I believe I can take one hell of a spanking, if it is done with the hand, even the leather strap, but wood no way.  I hate wood, from the cane to paddle, brush anything that is made of wood, I will gladly skip. And the moment your husband knows that you feel that way, they will make sure there is alot of wooden implements in the house, even make their own. 

My HOH made alot of our implements, paddle, flogger, whips and yes the evil evil loopy johnny, and the taws how can I forget that one.   I had written a essay over all the implements we have, I've named it 'the board of education', and every one had a special task.  You just know when you messes up what
kind of implement is going to teach you a specific lesson.

In our home it works like this:

When you tantrum;
It's the cane's job to speak

When you drink to much wine, and became testy;
Loopy Johnny will help you

When you do not listen;
Out came the paddle, the wooden one

Snotty sms to hubby;
This one is difficult, it could be the leather belt, the riding corp, the leather paddle actully it could be anything he can lay his hands on thirst.

When you skip your daily journal;
Ok this happens alot.  Every damm implement get to taste you on a occation.

What if you could choose your fantacy relationship

Have you ever read a spanking story, that was so apealing to you, that you wished you could get the same kind of relationship.  I've read alot and my favourite kind of stories is written in the old days, when women had no choice of such a discipline relationship.  I love the dominace the men had, and the fact that nobody question their dominace over their women.  It just give me the thrills all the way down my spine.

If you could choose, what kind of spanking relationship would you have chosen.  Let's see if you can let your imationation flow. Please tell me your fantacy relationship.

Behave

Have you ever been threatend with a spanking when you have visitors.  My husband do that alot and and for me this is the worse thing, even to just think about it.  Never happend before, but just thinking about it, gives me the greaps.  Yes I know perhaps I should behave then it woudn't happen, but I don't know why some women in such a relationship, just wait for vissitors to start misbehave.  Do we do it, to test, or is it just the controlling one who wants to peak out, every once in awhile, only to say hallo I'm still here.

Whatever the reason is, it happen with alot of us, maby not everytime but still it does.  Do we want to be spanked with the guests in the house, no way never please.  So what do we want?  I do not know, maby the look to see that you are still watching us, maby just a little walk outside and a reminder.  We've been doing DD for a long time and still this little mishaps do happen all the time.  There is always a reason for a spanking in this house.  My HOH once told me, that he doesn't want me to lose my personalty, and he didn't want me to lose the fight in me, could it be that he loves that part of me?  It's a challange for him to try and tame me, and that's the part he loves the most.

He just hate to see me unhappy, and if I do not have the little brat in me, and if I didn't have the fighting spirit he loves so much, then both of us will feel unhappy and sad.  What purpose will we have then, he hates to punish for things that realy cause us harm, but he will, on the other hand he loves to spank for brattyness, and smaller things just to show he is still the one in control.  And that's the part of domestic discipline I love the most.

I love my HOH so much, and I'm so proud of him for taking up this challange and the time to lead us to something so special.  We want to go foward in this relationship but we will do the things that work for us, and what we enjoy,  There can't be anymore stress and sleepless nights for something that will take a lifetime, and alot of spankings to come.  So behave or be a brat, doesn't matter if both can enjoy the jouney on their way.

Testing

Can you please just comment if you've been reading this blog, I want to do a test to see if this blog is working, otherwise I need to open a new one.  Thank you for your time in helping me with this.

No not this please

tonight is so bad for me, so bad for the submissive wife.  Yes I'm writing this and hate every moment of this, he is reading my daily journal.  I just got  spankend and I'm sore, really this is not the time for me to tell him that I do not like him to read my journal.  Sometimes DD can be realy a pain in the butt,  for me it is now.  I've been spanked with his belt, till the tears flow, for what don't even ask, it's my personallity, I just can't help it.  Been me isn't always easy ok, really a spanking whas the last thing on earth I wanted tonight, I wanted to voice my opinion, I did ok, but it wasn't going to help me.  Did I telll you I hated the belt, really it is somewhat sexy, but not when you are in trouble. 

Anyway let me get going all the people what to eat, and let me be submissive before I get the belt again.

What if your hubby feels so down?

Yesterday was one of these days for us, everthing seem to go wrong for my husband at work.  He is always so perfect in his work nothing is ever out of it's place, but not yesterday. 

He couln't handle the fact that he messed up at work, and I couln't handle to see him like this.  It broke my heart to pieces, and I felt so meaningless because I couln't help him fix it.  It was a teary day for me, I realy wanted to help him.  Yes I know what I was supose to do, but I couln't, we needed him to be the leader, and he couln't even lead himself.

Everything should be fine when he came home, it was maintenace night and that could help him, was my thoughts.  Then came the message 'there will be no maintenace tonight, I realy don't want to hurt you, and I do not feel in control.'  It made me so mad, how can he lead us, and take control over us, if he can't help himself at times?  He could see how dissapointed I was, and said to me, 'ok we will do maintenace but for the first time I'm giving you a password, and I want you to use it.'  That's when I realised that he is still in control, and it made me so proud of him, that's the man I married and love so dearly.

He wasn't to hard on me, and I didn't use the password, he only used his hand, and he was very much in control of himself.  For the first time in years I can see that he really begin to put his heart into this kind of relationship, now the journey really starts for us.

A little true story

I must confess to all the people reading my blog, you will notice that sometimes my spelling is not hunderd persent correct.  The thing is I'm not english speaking, we are from South Africa and we speak afrikaans.  So please keep that in mind when reading my blog, if it bothers you then don't read.  I need to write about my DD jouney because in South Africa nobody can talk about such a relationship, they will lock your husband in jail.

We are starting to work on my submission

P and I are practising DD for three years now, and still I couldn't find my submssisive side, and he couldn't find the real domminant in himself.  We were struggeling on our path, yes there were alot of spankings, and we did maintenace once a week.  The problem was that all the time it felt like a game to us. 

Now we are strating over, a new beginning.  Last night was so intense and wonderfull we realy felt each other.  It all begin with me being so testy, I always test to see where this thing will go, and he said that he will help me to become submissive.  So in the bath last night he said that after my bath that he would give me a spanking with his belt for testing him again.  He gave my seven swats on the bare, but it didn't get me to the place I wanted to be, so I become so angry and stomp off, again.  Then he said no way will this happen again, and the real spanking begin, this time a proper warmup with his hand, and out come the leather strap, no more mister nice guy.

Then I finaly realised that he ment bussiness, and he will bring me to my senses, after the spanking I realy felt some submission, because I didn't control the spanking, and we became one.  So intense, so right, so ment to be.

Submission

I was wondering about this for a long time, and still I can't figure it out by myself.  I think all womem have a need to submit to her husband, but what if you realy don't know what to do, where to start?  Many of us read other blogs about this subject, but you know yourself, you know you just can't do all the stuff other women do.  Maby someone could help me with this, what did you do to begin, did you have any exercises your partner let you do?

Hallo everybody

I'm a new blogger, my husband and I are also in a DD relationship. Here I will post my journey and write stories from time to time. I hope to became friends with all the other ladies who are in the same relationship.