Concerns for 2013

We've got allot going on the last couple of months, and my stress level is sky high.  I did talk to my husband about our DD marriage because I was so confused if we are still in such a relationship or not.  Let me start by the beginning we went to my mother on Christmas and New Year, along went my husbands mother and we don't get along to good.  She is a bitter women, and things just get worse after my father in law past away, so nothing is according to her standards.

Nobody can drive accept her, nobody can read time accept her, we all drink to much accept her.  So as time went by I was little irritated with the whole situation, and me and hubby start to fight allot. 

And low and behold he chooses to take her part over mine, so much for protecting your wife, huh?  And the bomb just burst, I couldn't help myself any longer and the old vanilla wife was back, full of fight and scared of nothing and nobody.  So my husband told me we are finished with DD because I was out of control and he could do nothing about it, since no one of our family know about our choice of relationship.  That just broke me, I couldn't believe he would give up on us just over one fight, and really I was just protecting myself, and he was not innocent at all.

And when we went back to home, and we had a discussion over what happened, and our relationship he said we are going on, he just said that because he was upset.  OK, so where does that leave us?  Well no where we do not have a scheduled maintenance day anymore, it will just happen if we have time for it.  I do not have rules anymore, because he do not want to play policeman over me, he wants to came home and enjoy a nice evening with his family.

Confused, confused, confused..............................................

Today something is right to do, tomorrow I will be punished for it.  We do not have any plans for our relationship for 2013 we just go on.  And now we are planning for a new baby in the house, can we even have a DD relationship when I'm pregnant? 

I am so confused and scared, I don't want to lose what we build on for years, I do not want to lose our DD relationship, because if we can't go on I am one lost women.