Stess relieve spankings?

Maby someone could help me with this, generally we only do maintenance and punishment and sometimes sensual spankings. 

How many TiH get stress relieve spankings, and how do you do that, I mean how is the scene playing out.  How long, and how hard?  We want to incorporate it in our dynamic, but we know so little about it, help would be appreciated.

First maintenance for the year

Last night we had our first maintenance spanking for 2013, and it was hard for me to take, but I had it coming especially after forgetting the payslips that honey put in my handbag.  At first he was mad really mad, but later on things went back to normal, and I was on a relaxing mode, no spanking for me, after all it was just an accident.

While taking our bath he said that we will have maintenance tonight and the red light just went on, I knew what I had coming my way.  Out came the wooden paddle, my absolute favourite............. no I hate wood, but It was his choice like I said, and I need to take what he was delivering.  He start out gently, but firm and all the way he was talking me through our maintenance session, telling me he loved me, and that it is not punishment, and that we need this.  My hart was grumbling, even in the situation I was in, I felt his love and affection all the way, and I knew I could do this for us.  What a way to start our new year, full of love and firmness, maby it's a good thing that I let him lead us from now on.

Concerns for 2013

We've got allot going on the last couple of months, and my stress level is sky high.  I did talk to my husband about our DD marriage because I was so confused if we are still in such a relationship or not.  Let me start by the beginning we went to my mother on Christmas and New Year, along went my husbands mother and we don't get along to good.  She is a bitter women, and things just get worse after my father in law past away, so nothing is according to her standards.

Nobody can drive accept her, nobody can read time accept her, we all drink to much accept her.  So as time went by I was little irritated with the whole situation, and me and hubby start to fight allot. 

And low and behold he chooses to take her part over mine, so much for protecting your wife, huh?  And the bomb just burst, I couldn't help myself any longer and the old vanilla wife was back, full of fight and scared of nothing and nobody.  So my husband told me we are finished with DD because I was out of control and he could do nothing about it, since no one of our family know about our choice of relationship.  That just broke me, I couldn't believe he would give up on us just over one fight, and really I was just protecting myself, and he was not innocent at all.

And when we went back to home, and we had a discussion over what happened, and our relationship he said we are going on, he just said that because he was upset.  OK, so where does that leave us?  Well no where we do not have a scheduled maintenance day anymore, it will just happen if we have time for it.  I do not have rules anymore, because he do not want to play policeman over me, he wants to came home and enjoy a nice evening with his family.

Confused, confused, confused..............................................

Today something is right to do, tomorrow I will be punished for it.  We do not have any plans for our relationship for 2013 we just go on.  And now we are planning for a new baby in the house, can we even have a DD relationship when I'm pregnant? 

I am so confused and scared, I don't want to lose what we build on for years, I do not want to lose our DD relationship, because if we can't go on I am one lost women.

Happy new year to all readers

I've just read a post and it had me thinking for awhile.  This is a new year and even if life get busier I will make time for our lifestyle.  This year I'm going to give complete control to my husband, I will not interfere in his decisions any more.

I will no longer sent him emails on all kind of DD relationships, and telling him how to do things. This will only be his decisions from now on. 

END OF THE YEAR

DD seems to bloom in the end of each year, do you think women tend to be more of a handful this time of the year, or shall we blame the men for catching a wake up call every end of the year.

Whatever it may be, the truth is DD comes to live in every December, especially for me, I seems to be in more trouble every end of the year.

On a lighter note I really don't mind trouble it keeps me more relax, and what do they say attention is attention good or bad.  Ha ha no really a spanking on it's time is good by the way we are all spankos so why be in such a relationship and hate spankings. No it won't make sense for me.

If just finish reading fifty shades of Grey, yeah it was good but really I expected a bit more, yes  I know all of us would want that women to be on the receiving end of allot more spankings.  Can you believe her unsubmissiveness can we get away with that, I bet allot of women did try once reading the books.  You know what is more scary?  If your mother in law wants to borrow your books.

IT IS HARD SOMETIMES

Why is it so hard for women to be submissive to the HOH? 

I've been thinking about this allot over the last weeks, we want the control from HOH but when they start to take it we do not want to comply.  This is a brainstorm for me, and I really do not have the answers for this one.  Why is this so difficult for most women, well for me this is extremely hard, I want my husband to be dominant and stern, but it seems only when I want him to be.  There are times I wish he will just back off and leave me alone, so that I can do as I wish, even if it bothers him.

Now this is a problem in any DD household, you can't give something and the next day you want it back, because when they start to get comfortable in their role, they wont let you take it back.  We want them to hold us acountable for our actions, 'but not always' and when they do on times we do not want it ,we think of them as unfair.

That's when the argument starts with ' so you think you are mr. perfect, who punishes you when you are at fault, huh?'  What can I do to punish you?  Ahhh, maby I can withhold sex from you, when I think you were wrong.  This sound so good to many womens ears, well to mine it sounds perfect, but the problem with this is, it is wrong, so wrong.  They are stronger than us, they can take what they want anytime, this won't work.  So what now, they aren't perfect and right all the time, and we do not want to be the only ones who get punished for wrong doings, that's not fair at all.

So where to now, accept your fate as a women, or fight?  I still don't have the right answer but for now I will make the choice to give him a chance in his leadership even if I see this as unfair sometimes.

DIDN'T LAST LONG

Three spankings in one night, well that didn't go to well for my intentions to stay out of trouble.  It happen just as he arrived home, he said he didn't like my new attitude and I earned my first spanking for the night.  He gave me a hand spanking and that just upset me, I didn't want a spanking, so my attitude just  get worst, then he decided to take the riding corp, and cane, well that seemed to work just fine.  Tears was forming in my eyes, and I felt more submissive after that, but that's when I decided it's time for us to talk.

We had a long and intensive talk about our feelings, and it did us both good, it was good for me to hear him out, and he needed to listen to me as well.  Sometimes we bottle up our feelings for to long, and only think of ourselves, that's when problems start to develop in relationships, and it ruins trust.  We didn't do any DD stuff when we were on holiday, and I've learnt a lesson out of it, you can't put DD off and on as you wishes, then it would never work.  So I told him I didn't feel any submission towards him at the moment, and that stresses me out, and he told me his biggest fear is loosing me and the children, loosing his leadership over us.

And that is how the third spanking took place in our home, a 'reminder spanking' of our roles and responsibility towards each other, everything seems well again and so we learn on our journey together every day.  Nobody is perfect, but for us, we can worked together to build something special and perfect for us.