Emotions before a real punishment spanking, their is so many emotions going through a women, and then she realize just how complicated such a relationship is. Many women would say yes for a spanking, but when you've been in such a relationship and you know what a real punishment spanking feels like, the tables are turning. There is no fun in a punishment, and thats when the women starts to think;
Why did I ever give my consent for such a relationship?
I don't think I want this anymore
He is not an angel, what if he messes up?
Who give him the right to do this - yeah you did
This is really going to hurt
What implement is he going to use
Why am I so stupid
Maby I should start crying now, before the punishment - will it soften him?
I can run, must I, will it be the smartest thing to do?
Hide all the worst implements
Lock the bedroom door
Yeah we could talk this one out
I do not want this punishment
I can play him emotionaly
Will he give me a proper warm up?
I hate this man, really who gives him the right to do this?
Yes I know I've mentioned that one already
I'm starting to feel sick now
Will he stop on time
Are you sure someone can't die from a spanking?
Why can't he just forgive me, and leave punishment?
And the list can go on forever, depends on how long you have to prepare for your punishment, and the worst part is, maby you were the one who introduce him to the idea of domestic discipline. Then the door opens, and it is time to face the music, and all the fun and sexy stuff you've heard of such a relationship dissapear into thin air. But somewhere inside of you, you know that after punishment you and the big bear will be more than ok, and you will love him more than ever.
There are many emotions and after all these years, I believe there cames a time in every domestic discipline relationship, that you wish you could just walk out and pretend you never started it at once. Discipline and punishment is not fun and hurts like the dickens, yes the lovemaking can make up for the discomfort but remember not all couples do the same thing. It took me a few years to came to that point, we do not do DD or taken in hand or any other form of lifestyle we just do what works for us.
Wednesday, 18 July 2012
Thursday, 12 July 2012
CRYING
Reading most of the blogs, and very good blogs to add, I dicided to write out of a womens point a view from now on. I want to write over problems and solutions, no more personal stuff about myself, and my family. I will try to be helpful for beginners taking a subject and just give my two cents over it.
CRYING
Crying is the most natural way for a women to express her feelings at any situation, most women want to cry during or after a spanking because it is a part of womenhood. Crying for some women came very easy, the worst part in the beginning of DD is when the women can't cry, for the dominant it is most important to understand the women needs before starting such a relationship.
Most cupples just start with DD before knowing each others real needs, yes it can be exciting to put a women over your knee and blister her behind, but pause just there. You need to talk about this, what is it you both want out of this experience. How important is crying to her, what do the HOH wants for himself.
Give her time to think about what is going to happen, lecturing help in preparing her emotionaly, do not play around and handle the situation like a game, be real from the start. Take time on the whole spanking, talk her through, crying doesn't came from pain, it cames from her emotional side. Get her in the perfect mindset before starting the spanking, let her talk to you give her side of the story, let her explain her situation to you.
Then tell her that the spanking is going to hurt, and that it is ok for her to cry, you will be there for her but you both need this for your relationship to grow into something special. Once a women can see that this is not a game to you, and you are serious about DD she will also became more serious herself. Tell her to let go, and be free even if you are the one who is hurting her now, tell her that she is still the one you love most.
Crying should be easy now, but one warning, hold her afterwards but please do not tell her she is your goodgirl, because if she was she wouldn't be crying now with a red bottom. Sometimes just to be there is enough, hold your words for later, other times when she is crying and it's not just a tear or two leave her in her bedroom alone, tell her when she is ready you will be waiting for her in the livingroom.
Women can be very sensitive when they want to cry, but feel to ashame to because the HOH is still in the room. Afterall she is not a little girl anymore, shame can be a reason why the tears and release won't come.
CRYING
Crying is the most natural way for a women to express her feelings at any situation, most women want to cry during or after a spanking because it is a part of womenhood. Crying for some women came very easy, the worst part in the beginning of DD is when the women can't cry, for the dominant it is most important to understand the women needs before starting such a relationship.
Most cupples just start with DD before knowing each others real needs, yes it can be exciting to put a women over your knee and blister her behind, but pause just there. You need to talk about this, what is it you both want out of this experience. How important is crying to her, what do the HOH wants for himself.
Give her time to think about what is going to happen, lecturing help in preparing her emotionaly, do not play around and handle the situation like a game, be real from the start. Take time on the whole spanking, talk her through, crying doesn't came from pain, it cames from her emotional side. Get her in the perfect mindset before starting the spanking, let her talk to you give her side of the story, let her explain her situation to you.
Then tell her that the spanking is going to hurt, and that it is ok for her to cry, you will be there for her but you both need this for your relationship to grow into something special. Once a women can see that this is not a game to you, and you are serious about DD she will also became more serious herself. Tell her to let go, and be free even if you are the one who is hurting her now, tell her that she is still the one you love most.
Crying should be easy now, but one warning, hold her afterwards but please do not tell her she is your goodgirl, because if she was she wouldn't be crying now with a red bottom. Sometimes just to be there is enough, hold your words for later, other times when she is crying and it's not just a tear or two leave her in her bedroom alone, tell her when she is ready you will be waiting for her in the livingroom.
Women can be very sensitive when they want to cry, but feel to ashame to because the HOH is still in the room. Afterall she is not a little girl anymore, shame can be a reason why the tears and release won't come.
Go or stay?
It's being a long time since I post, things is a bit busy this side with the school holidays and the kids being so busy. It feels like I lost myself for a week or two, DD goes on, abit diffirent with the kids awake till late but still going on.
The thing is I'm actually so grumpy lately, I really feel lonely like things are falling apart, but the truth is everyting is still the same. Maby it is hormones or something, it's sometimes so hard being a women, we have many choices to make and most of the times I'm so afraid of making the wrong choices for us.
I need to go for a hystorectomy, and really it is fine with me, it's actually what I wanted for a long time, but now that the time arrived, I feel so scared all of sudden. I really hate this part it feels like I'm falling apart. Maby writing about it will give me some sence, about this. Could it be that I feel this way because of all the nasty stories you heard of women feel less like a women, husbands suddenly wants a divorce after sugery. The long recovery six weeks, maby longer. On a lighter note.
The good news is, I find all of my school friends and some of them is going to visit me on Sunday, it's being twelve years since we last see each other. We've being terrible in school, always in hot water and I can't wait to bring times back, now with our families, being all grownup and responsible of our own children. And the last thing I want for this weekend is DD, I want to be my old self with my friends, and not to watch over my shoulder the hole time, to see if hubby is giving me the look. Maby I must just talk to him about this, lucky for me he is the most understanding person I know.
The thing is I'm actually so grumpy lately, I really feel lonely like things are falling apart, but the truth is everyting is still the same. Maby it is hormones or something, it's sometimes so hard being a women, we have many choices to make and most of the times I'm so afraid of making the wrong choices for us.
I need to go for a hystorectomy, and really it is fine with me, it's actually what I wanted for a long time, but now that the time arrived, I feel so scared all of sudden. I really hate this part it feels like I'm falling apart. Maby writing about it will give me some sence, about this. Could it be that I feel this way because of all the nasty stories you heard of women feel less like a women, husbands suddenly wants a divorce after sugery. The long recovery six weeks, maby longer. On a lighter note.
The good news is, I find all of my school friends and some of them is going to visit me on Sunday, it's being twelve years since we last see each other. We've being terrible in school, always in hot water and I can't wait to bring times back, now with our families, being all grownup and responsible of our own children. And the last thing I want for this weekend is DD, I want to be my old self with my friends, and not to watch over my shoulder the hole time, to see if hubby is giving me the look. Maby I must just talk to him about this, lucky for me he is the most understanding person I know.
Monday, 25 June 2012
WINTER SPANKINGS
What's the worst time for a spanking? Definitely in the middle of the winter, especially in South Africa it's really cold here. It's in times like this that you really wish you didn't have a domestic discipline relationship. It's easy to say but you can behave the you won't get spanked, but remember maintenace, it is weekly and in the night when the kids go to bed.
Anyway this is just how things work, nobody is suppose to like a spanking but the truth is alot women do so if it is on a wet bum, or in the middle of winter enjoy it.
Anyway this is just how things work, nobody is suppose to like a spanking but the truth is alot women do so if it is on a wet bum, or in the middle of winter enjoy it.
Friday spanking
Friday was a bad day for me, I've hurt my hubby in a bad way and the worst part is I don't even remember it. No not because I didn't want to, but maby I've had a little to much wine in my system.
Anyway it turned out that he was mad, hurt and I felt bad about it. It doesn't happen to often the bad feeling thing, but Friday it did happen. The worst part was I knew that he was going to spank me about this, but I didn't want to wait for the spanking, so I had to asked him to spank me for my bad attitude.
And he did when he came home, not the usual ' hallo honey how was your day' conversation, no I was to wait in the spanking position so that we could spank and move on. He started with his hand, not the nice, long slow warmup like he use to do, no hard slaps from the start. It was difficult to hold position, but I knew this would get far more worst. Then he took out the plastic cane, boy was I one sorry little girl after that spanking, the tears were flowing but I wasn't histerical like I use to be after being caned, no this was different I knew I really needed the spanking.
And what would happen after the spanking, we went for a three our drive on my very sore bottom.
Anyway it turned out that he was mad, hurt and I felt bad about it. It doesn't happen to often the bad feeling thing, but Friday it did happen. The worst part was I knew that he was going to spank me about this, but I didn't want to wait for the spanking, so I had to asked him to spank me for my bad attitude.
And he did when he came home, not the usual ' hallo honey how was your day' conversation, no I was to wait in the spanking position so that we could spank and move on. He started with his hand, not the nice, long slow warmup like he use to do, no hard slaps from the start. It was difficult to hold position, but I knew this would get far more worst. Then he took out the plastic cane, boy was I one sorry little girl after that spanking, the tears were flowing but I wasn't histerical like I use to be after being caned, no this was different I knew I really needed the spanking.
And what would happen after the spanking, we went for a three our drive on my very sore bottom.
Thursday, 21 June 2012
KINKY OR DEGRADING?
Have you ever wondered why people in bdsm play, believe in degrading their submissives? This is weird for me, because even though I like to read some of the stories, there is always something bothering me about a 24/7 lifestyle like that. I don't believe it is the atual act in the playsession I think it is the way they name their submissives.
Personly I would hate it if someone call me a whore or a slut all the time. This is bad because they want the women to be like a slut to them, but calling them pet or slut all the time is so degrading. The women who wants to be submissive want a dominant who can control them in many ways, even humiliate them when they need it, but never in my life have I heard of a submissive who wants to be degraded by any name calling. Realy I don't like the roleplay thing like 'daddy and little girl' but even that is better than pet or whore.
Just a random thought from me, maby someone would like to tell me more about this kind of lifestyle so that I can see what is the missing link from my side. I don't mean to offend anyone living this way, the thing is I realy don't understand it. Yes I can see why the sub calls the dom 'sir' or 'master' because it make him feel more powerful and dominant, but can't they rather call their subs 'missy' or something more respectful.
Please tell me how you feel about this topic, what is your two cents about this.
Personly I would hate it if someone call me a whore or a slut all the time. This is bad because they want the women to be like a slut to them, but calling them pet or slut all the time is so degrading. The women who wants to be submissive want a dominant who can control them in many ways, even humiliate them when they need it, but never in my life have I heard of a submissive who wants to be degraded by any name calling. Realy I don't like the roleplay thing like 'daddy and little girl' but even that is better than pet or whore.
Just a random thought from me, maby someone would like to tell me more about this kind of lifestyle so that I can see what is the missing link from my side. I don't mean to offend anyone living this way, the thing is I realy don't understand it. Yes I can see why the sub calls the dom 'sir' or 'master' because it make him feel more powerful and dominant, but can't they rather call their subs 'missy' or something more respectful.
Please tell me how you feel about this topic, what is your two cents about this.
Thursday, 14 June 2012
WHAT WOMEN WANT
Women want dominant husbands, who can control them, punish them when needed, but above all love them like there is no tomorrow. Why would we want to be controlled and punished, because it make us feel special and worthy of your love. Yes all men out there, please take this seriously, we will not hate you for keeping us in line, we will love you more, respect you more, tressure every moment with you. Most men is so afraid to step up, and give their women what they need, affraid of hurting them, losing them, afraid of what other people may think about them for living this way. But reallity is, we need you to be stronger than your fears, we need to rely on you for surporting us, caring for us, even to discipline us. Yes alot of women will threaten you when you do spank them, but truly I do not think she would go through with her thread, if you show her that she needed it, and that she is still the most important person in your life.
Have you ever thought why women read romance books, and why they like to watch romance movies, because they see real men in it, dominant men that can be hard, but their love is so much stronger for their women. The most common complain in every marriadge is lack of consistency from men. You could ask yourself, but why would I have to punish a grownup women, she is supose to know what is right and wrong, yes and she does. The problem is we do not know how far are we allowed to push, we want to see the dominant men inside of you, we want to know how much is enough. We do not want to be abbused, we want for you to lead us with loving correction, not with hate. Most of the women feels the same way, we are in need for a strong leader but we can not give up control, if we can't see that quality inside of you.
We do not what to be degraded, or to be someones slave, all we really want is a stern loving husband, that knows what he expect of his wife, and know how to get it. Do we want to be punished, well sometimes we do, not because it is fun, but we have a innerneed for correction, and the way we feel afterward. We struggle to give over control, we want to feel the submissive women inside of us, and the only way we can get to that stage is when our men became dominant, and stronger than us.
But what if she cries? What if I really hurt her?
We have to cry, it's a women's thing to do, we want to cry, do not worry about it. If we cry we go to another mindset, a better one. We can talk alot about crying, but for now, just remember that we are emotional beings. Yes a spanking do hurt, she can bruise aswell, but afterall it will heal pretty fast, and before you know it she will be upon your knee again. Why? Simple she loves to feel your control, and the love signals you send out to her by adminnistering a good spanking.
Let go of your fear, and women can let go of their control.
Have you ever thought why women read romance books, and why they like to watch romance movies, because they see real men in it, dominant men that can be hard, but their love is so much stronger for their women. The most common complain in every marriadge is lack of consistency from men. You could ask yourself, but why would I have to punish a grownup women, she is supose to know what is right and wrong, yes and she does. The problem is we do not know how far are we allowed to push, we want to see the dominant men inside of you, we want to know how much is enough. We do not want to be abbused, we want for you to lead us with loving correction, not with hate. Most of the women feels the same way, we are in need for a strong leader but we can not give up control, if we can't see that quality inside of you.
We do not what to be degraded, or to be someones slave, all we really want is a stern loving husband, that knows what he expect of his wife, and know how to get it. Do we want to be punished, well sometimes we do, not because it is fun, but we have a innerneed for correction, and the way we feel afterward. We struggle to give over control, we want to feel the submissive women inside of us, and the only way we can get to that stage is when our men became dominant, and stronger than us.
But what if she cries? What if I really hurt her?
We have to cry, it's a women's thing to do, we want to cry, do not worry about it. If we cry we go to another mindset, a better one. We can talk alot about crying, but for now, just remember that we are emotional beings. Yes a spanking do hurt, she can bruise aswell, but afterall it will heal pretty fast, and before you know it she will be upon your knee again. Why? Simple she loves to feel your control, and the love signals you send out to her by adminnistering a good spanking.
Let go of your fear, and women can let go of their control.
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